January 22, 2015

Telling Coach: The First Time Around

I was recently asked how I told Coach Kemp about our pregnancy and had to admit that I could not recollect how it all went down. I know, I proclaim myself as the horrible mom-to-be of the year.

Let me explain. Prior to this pregnancy, I had a miscarriage and following that was a tumultuous two months that were somewhat of a blur. I have a blog post all about that that is sitting as a draft. I have yet to hit 'publish,' but will when I feel the time is right.

Why am I sharing this story, right? Well... this past weekend while going through my ever-slow Macbook, which needs to be ditched to the curb, I stumbled across the following post which I wrote when I first learned I was pregnant-the first time around. I was so excited, and still remember the events like it was yesterday.

Since I, nor Coach, have any recollection of how I shared the news this time around, I figure I might as well relish the one story I do have memory of.

I am writing this on July 12th at 9:30pm, wide awake still in amazement and shock that I have a little peanut growing inside my belly (ok, uterus)! So the key part to the first sentence is that I am wide awake on Saturday night in my first trimester!?! How is this even possible? Aren’t I supposed to be beyond tired with exhaustion? Well, perhaps I am one of the few “lucky” ones that do not have extreme exhaustion take her over. My sister-in-law already warned me not to get too cocky. We shall see where my energy level goes in the next couple of weeks.

In talking of early pregnancy signs, yea, not so sure about those guys! See, it took me nearly a week to really believe that I was pregnant. It all started after missing Aunt Flo on Monday, which did raise a yellow flag. On Wednesday I took a pregnancy test that came out negative, mind you it was in the middle of the day. I just happened to send my pregnant (15 weeks at the time this post was written; now loving her two week-old daughter) sister-in-law a text asking when she was learning the sex of Baby #3, that she asked me when Coach Kemp and I were going to get on the bandwagon! The condensed conversation went like this:

SIL: Are you guys thinking of baby anytime soon?

ME: I think so. I had planned to start trying after our second anniversary and that’s right around the corner.

SIL: Yes, in a couple of months!!! That’s exciting. … There is no perfect time no matter how you plan.

(Additional text messages were sent. I mention that while younger I had a short period of irregular periods, and I was at the time, concerned that I would again have problems with a consistent period.)

SIL: If you have regular periods and have been, then you will be fine.

ME: Yes, it’s been normal from May until today. I took a pregnancy test; it was negative.

The above occurred on Wednesday night. Somehow I was confused as to when Aunt Flo was to arrive. I was lackadaisically using the Fertility Friend app, and did not realize that since I was not indicating a menses, it was automatically pushing the date back. At one time it said Monday, and when I never indicated that my menses came on Monday, it moved it to Tuesday, and then Wednesday, without me really realizing it. FF, this is an error that you probably should correct. In their defense, the cycle countdown passed 30 days, but I just hadn’t paid that much attention to that fine detail until after I really sat and thought about it. My recommendation would be a red flag, indicating the possibility of pregnancy.

After our text communications, now very antsy, I decide to take Pregnancy test #2. This test too came out negative, or so I thought. In retrospect, I do recollect a faint + sign, but was looking for a heavy + sign. I shrugged it off that I was not pregnant, but should make a doctor’s appointment first thing Thursday morning. Now this is when the whole situation got a little comical, looking back at it.

So I call the OB/GYN explaining my situation – no menses, two negative pregnancy tests, and my irregular period history (back when I was 16 years-old). The receptionist responds that the midwife’s first opening is August 1! I nearly lose it!!!! Uhm hello, I may be pregnant is all that is going through my mind! I can feel the excitement and anxiety building in my body, and I try with all my might to sound “normal” and explain, I have never done this before (i.e., been pregnant); therefore, shouldn’t I be seen?!? I realize my attempts at being calm, aren’t going over as passively so I apologize profusely and explain that I am simply confused. The receptionist shares that the first opening for an initial visit isn’t until August 1 since I am new to the clinic, and that is all that can be done. It too is the clinics policy that a woman miss two menstrual cycles before an initial pregnancy visit, so those combined would not allow me to get in any sooner. I realize there is no point in arguing, and thank her for the appointment.

I then proceed to have a minor panic attack!!! Why are there no openings? Isn’t this an emergency? (Of course, I now realize this is not an emergency, but when you are in a state of unknown, it is a Category 5.)

In my frantic panic of determining if I am indeed pregnant, I take damn near every online pregnancy test known to man. At this point, it still seems 50-50 that I am pregnant, mainly because I have no nausea, exhaustion, heightened sense of smell, nor had I begun taking my basal temperature so I could not even respond to those items, if questioned. The only signs that I definitely had included: missed menses, sore breasts, frequent urination which was a toss up because I drink lots of water, and darkened areola also a toss up – I am African-American, they’re naturally “dark.” Thank heavens for a website that I stumbled upon, which I now can’t find, that explained that (a) pregnancy tests should be taken in the morning, (b) those individuals who consume a high amount of water are more likely to get negative results, and (c) that pregnancy test strips verse mid-stream tests are more precise/accurate at determining the presence of pregnancy hormones (aka HCG).

With my whole new-found love for online shopping (thank you Amazon Prime), I start researching better methods of pregnancy tests. I stumble across early-pregnancy-tests.com. I settle on buying some tests through their company thinking they would arrive next day, so I can take a follow-up test on Saturday morning when my HCG is the highest. I place my order thinking all is going to be settled by Saturday morning…

Long story short, the tests would not actually arrive until Monday! A subsequent panic attack follows because it is Friday, and I just want to know damn it. I take the advice of my SIL, and go to CVS and purchase some new tests. Do I wait until Saturday morning? Hell no, I take one Friday night which indicates, for sure, that I am pregnant! I FREAK!!!!

I had planned to keep it chill, and wait until Coach Kemp returned from his recruiting trip on Sunday night, but who am I kidding? After our night call, I call him back trying to act all coy, and simply blurt out: “I am pregnant!” He responds: “I did that?” Lol, I surely hope so buddy, or you should be worried!!!

Unfortunately there is no Pinterst-worthy daddy-to-be reveal party for Coach Kemp, but I did share the news with the soon-to-be-grandparents in a cute manner*!

*We did share the pregnancy with our parents in a cute fashion, though I would go on to miscarry shortly thereafter. The pregnancy announcements to our parents this time around consisted of a phone call! Sorry, after our first rodeo, this lady was keeping announcement ever so simple.

Question of the Day: How did you tell your husband or partner that you were expecting?

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